I have a lot of flaws.
It's not something I am proud of, and I do try to work on them.
But, I'm not perfect and I fail at things often. I accept that and strive to do better. most days.
One of the hardest things I have controlling though is spitefulness.
When I want to be, I am a downright mean and hateful person who relishes in saying and doing things that I know will hurt you. In that moment I want you to hurt deeply and I want you to hate me for it.
I don't know why this is. I do make an attempt to control my tounge but it doesn't always work. And it makes me feel good when you get what I feel is the appropriate punishment.
Take today as an example. I learned that some previous co-workers/employers could possiably be leaving and I wanted to BURST at the seams with joy. I despise them to my core and I couldn't be happier that they might get the boot. I hope it hurts them, but it will be beneficail to the people that had to deal with them on a daily basis to see them go. I don't know how some people will be able to control themselves when that big day comes or if they'll be able to get them out the door fast enough.
Hopefully they will get to have a little bit of public humiliation set upon them- like being "escorted off the premises" which is "protocol". ugh.
Maybe tomorrow I will be a better person.
on second thought, maybe not?