Saturday, September 3, 2011


It's a Saturday night and I'm sitting in a quiet, empty house...bored out of my mind.
Nicko got called to work today. It's something I am going to have to get used to..quickly. He left at 1:30 today to clean up a 26 mile train wreck two-and-a-half hours away. When I called him at 5:30 they had three miles cleaned up.. I don't have high expectations on seeing him tonight. :sigh:
He got called last night at 10:30 to go and clean up (somewhere) but once he got down there and ready they told him nevermind because not all of his paperwork/tests have come back. When he got called today they told him they NEEDED him and it would be fine for him to work... He was so cute running around today getting dressed and gathering the things he needed. He's excited about a new career path, and I'm happy for him..
The potential 'time away' is what worries me. I'm hoping he won't be gone all the time but in the past day and a half- I'm already seeing it's highly likely. I told him long before we ever had a child that I did not want him (or myself) to have a job that required us to be constantly gone..
I know he's making sacrifices for the benefit of our family, but I really feel strongly about it. I want Vann to see his father daily and not just in passing. I don't think it's fair to Vann (or Nicko) and I don't want him to feel like he's only got one parent to rely on. I'm scared that Nicko will miss out on so many things that Vann does- and even though this job is his choice- I don't want him to miss any of it.

..ugh. thinking is over-rated sometimes.

I have been relatively productive tonight..which I guess it good. I got the garage cleaned and actually accessible to vehicles! woo. I still have to go through some of the boxes (i.e: baby clothes/holiday) and downsize them and then tackle Nicko's side tomorrow...maybe. ha. The house is relatively clean and I'll probably finish up within the next hour or two. It, like the garage, is just  a bunch of tedious things to do- most of which I have been putting off because I don't have the time. Tonight time is all I have and guess what?! I don't feel like it. Typical.

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