Thursday, October 18, 2012


Today has been one of those hormonal roller coaster kind of days, filled with a lot more lows than it has highs. I guess part of the problem (besides the instability of emotions) is that the week feels like it is dragging on. Tuesday my class went to the Pumpkin patch, which was very nice (aside from one child/parent who were an embarassment). It was great seeing the kids truly enjoy themselves and have a little get-to-know the parents time. Our days our so busy we really don't have a lot of time to connect with parents. The staff at the 'patch' were wonderful, interactive and very informative. Afterwards the teachers treated themselves to Mexican (on the clock AND without kids) and that was a giant plus- having kid-free adult time with great coworkers and friends.
 I guess trying to get back into routine after that has been kind of hard. Yesterday was rough (I think I'm mostly the problem) and today has been no better. I had to fight back tears of frustration several different times.
I'm annoyed with certain work situations but I don't know if everything I'm frustrated with is truly a problem or if I'm over-reacting to little, dismissive things because I'm pregnant and crotchety.
Eh, enough about work.

Things at home are going well enough. Vann is a talking machine and his personality is really BIG. (His attitude may be a smidge bigger though.) He occassionaly talks about the baby and the other day he sang "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little star" to it through my belly button. And when I say through, his mouth was on my belly button and he was singing as loud as he could. It was so funny but definatly sweet. I wish I'd have gotten a video. I also bought one of those cute, and totally cliche', baby skeleton shirts and wore last weekend to a party. When he saw me in the shirt he looked at it kind of funny so I pointed to the baby and asked him what he thought it was... his response, "a pirate, Mommy!"
Duh, I should have known that.
But, a pirate is better than a turtle (what he said the ultrasound was).

My next appointment is in a week and then we'll schedule the ultrasound. I'm pretty nervous about it (a little excited too). I am so desperate for a girl this time around but I have a feeling it will be a boy. Don't get me wrong, I want a healthy baby no matter what gender- but the desire for a girl outweighs that for another boy. I'll love whatever we have unconditionally- and atleast I'm familiar with boys. (and what great cuddle-bugs they are.) I've really been contemplating getting the ultrasound done and just have them seal up the picture in an envelope without me knowing.  I feel confident, right now, that I could do it with no temptation... but knowing myself, once I'm in there and am asked, I'm going to say "yes". I've talked to Nicko about it and he thinks it's absurd considering I couldn't wait to announce the pregnancy to everyone immediately.  His mom was pretty upset too when I told her what I was thinking. She wants to know (says she understands if we don't ask her to go to ultrasound, though she would like to) the day we find out. I just don't know. I'm really feeling the "surprise" aspect to this one.

I'm just happy our little family is growing. Nicko and I have come to the agreement of one more after this and hopefully we will have it without such a gap inbetween. (Vann and this one will be nearly 3  1/2 years.) Future planning is fun but picking names SUCKS.
We are still no closer than we were months ago. Ugh.

No comments: